Since watching our church's semi-annual General Conference on Sunday, I've been playing a game with myself. The name: FAITH OR FEAR. The aim: deciding whether the things I think, say, or do are done out of faith or fear. The results: surprising and humbling.
You see, I have always known that I am not perfect. Yet, I always thought that my imperfections were MY fault and therefore basically impossible to overcome. BUT when I started thinking about my faults as being "Maren acting out of fear" rather than "Maren acting out of fault", my mistakes almost became silly. Seriously!! Continue reading...
Today (and almost every day), I was walking to my clinical placement and trying not to think about the bajillion things I could (and probably would) do wrong. I was pretty down on myself before I even gave myself the chance! Then, I played the game!! I thought, "Faith or fear," and I realized IMMEDIATELY that my thoughts were coming from my fears- specifically, fear of failure and fear of "not being enough" (this one comes rather frequently). When I realized I was basing my opinion of myself and my work on my fears, it was easy to tell them to "STOP IT"- like Elder Uchtdorf said.
Fears can swindle our thoughts and actions in lots of ways. Here are some of the biggest fears that daunt me:
- Fear of failure
- Fear of not being enough
- Fear of being misjudged or misunderstood
- Fear of not doing enough
- Fear of letting others down/disappointing them
- Fear of missing opportunities to be/do good
- Fear of my anxiety
Wow. When I list out my fears like that, it's easy to see that lots of what I do is based in FEAR.
NO MORE, I SAY!
You see, recognizing and conquering fear is only HALF of the game. The other half is replacing it with faith. AND THIS IS THE COOLEST PART because this is where inspiration comes! Here's how I do it: I think, "What would be the faithful thing to do?" I ponder, pray for a moment, and then (most important of all), I DO IT!
Sometimes the thing I need to do is simple- just telling my brain to shut up. Other times, it is more complex- like remembering that I am a daughter of God and how I really should value my worth based on His loving standards.
I love this game. It is my favorite. I want to invite all of you to play with me :) And don't forget to thank God for the help He sends.
I congratulate you sister! This has been a useful game that I have played with myself for years, and it truly does help! Good luck with it. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, Maren. I know I all too often forget to actively choose to express faith in myself and in the Lord in the every-day things. But what a difference it makes!
ReplyDeleteI like how you said sometimes it's as simple as telling your brain to shut up, and other times it's more complex. I think sometimes we think we should always be able to just tell ourselves to change because we know we should be better than we are acting- but it's not always that easy! Last fall I struggled for a number of weeks because I wasn't happy with things in my life and myself, but I felt like because I KNEW I shouldn't feel that way, I should just be able to CHANGE IT! It was only after I was humble enough to go to the Lord in prayer and say- "here's how I feel, I know I shouldn't, but I just do. Please help me." that things got better. (almost over-night! It's amazing how much He cares about us and all we need to do is ask!)
I love you. Thanks for making me think, and being such an uplifting influence in my life :)
Thank you both for your steady, loving examples. I think that being frustrated with myself for being frustrated that I am frustrated with myself is likely going to be a life-long challenge for me. Thank you for making it seem so simple to "Just stop" by going to Heavenly Father in prayer. Sometimes I think I don't deserve His help because I am such a mess. Thanks for helping me to realize that isnt true :)
ReplyDeleteLove you and trust you, Maren!
ReplyDeleteDad
Thanks, Pappy! That is exactly what I need! Love, trust, faith!
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