The parting of my latest Red Sea

You all know that I had a hard time preparing for comps in the same way that my classmates did. The few weeks before comps, I was at the preschool it seemed like 24/7. I was asked by Penny Peterson to babysit her boys for the weekend before finals and felt like I should, I got sick during the week of finals, and babysitting the Parry family started earlier than I had expected. All along, Jake and I felt very much at peace about the decisions we were making and the results that would come. The Saturday before Monday's test, I sat down for just a couple hours of studying here and there. I prayed a simple prayer to know what to study and am still amazed by the very detailed and relevant guidance I received! Wait till you hear this!!

First impression: Study School-Age Language Disorders. Under this topic, I felt like I should focus on literacy.
Comps question for School-Age: Should SLPs play a role in literacy? If so, why? What? How?

Second impression: Open your notes for School-Age again. I opened my notebook and within a few pages, I found a note I had written to myself the first week in September that was circled, highlighted, and bolded. STUDY FOR COMPS! The topic: the impact of including language-impaired children in normative samples for tests.
Comps question for Evaluation (NOTE- NOT THE SAME CLASS!): Who should be included in a normative sample when a test is being used for identification purposes? For discrimination of severity? What is the impact of including language-impaired children in normative samples? What is the effect of using arbitrary cutoffs for determining eligibility for services?

Next impression: Read through the rest of your School-Age notes. OK??? The notes that caught my attention were on principles of learning.
Comps question for Preschool Developmental Language Disorders (NOTE- NOT THE SAME CLASS!): Name two principles of learning and how they would apply to therapy for a preschool-age child with language delay and suspected cognitive deficits?

Next impression: Look at the chart for differential diagnosis of dysarthria. Pay special attention to which diseases (e.g., Lou Gherig's disease, Parkinson disease, MS, etc.) are associated with which dysarthria. Myasthenia gravis (which we didn't spend all that much time learning about) popped out to me- flaccid dysarthria.
Comps question for Neuromotor Speech Disorders: You have been assigned to a client who has been diagnosed with myasthenia gravis. What symptoms do you expect for speech and in general. What are two methods of management that you would recommend? When she requires ventilation, what management techniques would you use to improve her speech?

Next impression: Review methods of measurement for each subsystem of speech.
Comps question for Preclinical Speech Science: Describe how the word "seen" is produced in each of the four subsystems of speech production.

Last impression: Don't worry about studying for Dysphagia.
Comps question for Dysphagia: Describe the four stages of swallowing and possible problems that could arise in each stage that would be detected by videofluoroscopy. EASY PEASY! We've been over that a million times!

As I went to bed the night before comps, I could feel that all of you and many others were on their knees praying in my behalf. I knew I would be blessed beyond what I deserved and I knew you would be too!!!

I have had countless experiences in my life when prayers have received very specific answers, but never so many in a row. Rarely have I felt comfort from the prayers of others so strongly in the past. In addition to my experiences, Jake was guided in his schoolwork and we've been blessed to "keep going" through some pretty tough days and weeks!

Long entry, but long (and miraculous) story!

If there ever were a need to count my many blessings...

This would be the time!! So stressed about the demands that clinic is putting on me and yet so blessed with counsel and insight to help me along

Today's insight: it is a blessing to be so darn busy that I don't have time to think about comprehensive exams! All of my classmates are complaining about not being motivated to study for our first-year exam, but because I rarely get the chance to study, I am actually EXCITED AND RELIEVED when I do get to study for them. Groovy!

Lucky Jake has been such a good sport through all of this. Poor kid, today he finally said, "So what exactly are comps?" For not knowing what he was fighting against, he sure has fought a good fight in my behalf!

Things as they really are!

This past weekend, we had stake conference, a time when members of the Church in Northwest Tucson were gathered to hear messages from our local leaders and neighbors. When leaving the conference, I thought about a favorite scripture of mine from the Book of Mormon... Jacob 4:13.
I am grateful for leaders of the Church who courageously declare things "as they really are". This world seems to be evolving into a more deceitfully deceitful place every day! Things that were once viewed as private and sacred are now considered public and commonplace. Just the other day, I was thinking about the legalization of medical marijuana. It may seem harmless to some to prescribe this drug for medicinal purposes, but it simply isn't! The message sent by this action was: marijuana is okay! It's not! By its very addictive nature, God has declared it to be unholy.

Here are some of the "really are" things that I love:
- Happiness only comes in and through Jesus Christ!
- Rely WHOLLY upon the merits of Christ.
- Teach children both agency and consequences.
- To be a missionary, center your work in your home.
- Consistency and time yield results! The most important priority for time and consistency is family!
- True abundance comes from Christ. The abundant life is based in Jesus Christ!
- Undertake a quest for the abundant life and you will find happiness, success, and goodness.
- The Lord can direct EVERY aspect of our lives if we ask for his help.
- Through temple covenants, we are able to call down the power of Heaven to bless our families and those we serve.
- Happiness comes from overcoming the natural tendency to judge others.
- We are all children of God, and we are all beggars before Him.
- Remember to look at a person's potential!!

Oh, the hair!

Doing my hair this morning provoked several questions of utmost importance. Keep in mind, I have only "done" my hair for real maybe a dozen times since Christmas. Maybe.

How much time do the stars spend each day doing their hair? If they do it themselves? If they have it done?

Why does my hair flake only AFTER I wash it with dandruff shampoo?

How did the ancient peoples do their hair without bobby pins?

Who decides what hair fashions are "in"? Who in the world invented the hair of the 80s?

Yep, they're important. Now they are out there in the world to be answered!!

That's who I am!!

I love having thoughts I never anticipated... it makes life exciting and strengthens my belief that revelation is on-going!

Last week, I was engrossed for the entire hour-long ride down to Benson in the Church's official statement on same-sex attraction. You will probably be just as surprised as I was when I admit that I learned more about MYSELF from that article than I did about anyone else! WHAT???

Well, here is why! Jake asked me what the article was about, and it allowed me to process the "big picture" of what Elder Oaks and his colleague had taught... you know, the Apostles teach principles, because they are what allows us to best govern ourselves. Here is the principle that I walked away with:

When we define ourselves by a single characteristic, we are limiting our potential to develop our God-like character.

Don't worry, I'll provide statements to confirm this claim shortly. Never before had I considered the danger of characterizing an individual by a single attribute, whether it be oneself or another. SHOCKER! But we do this ALL THE TIME! Think about it....

We go to a high school basketball game and know nothing about the players, except that "#11 is a flopper". We think of someone in our ward as "the one who never volunteers to help clean up". One might think of themselves as "the one who was abused as a child" or "the one who won homecoming queen". This sort of labeling is damaging on more than one account:

#1- It sets us up for easy failure.
If we only define others by one attribute (e.g., "The homecoming queen"), it's really easy to discount that person's value when, ten years down the road, they are 50 pounds overweight and working as a secretary at Waste Management. How easy would it be to think, "Well, I guess she's no homecoming queen anymore, so there goes her source of value!"
What if it were ourselves we were labeling? Same thing. If I am "the A student" then when I get a "B", it's really easy to think I'm no good anymore. If I am, instead, the hard worker who sometimes needs a break, and always tries to balance family life, but needs the Lord's and her husband's help, there's sure a lot more room for learning, rather than failure.

#2- It sets us up for excuses.
If one views themself by mainly one attribute, it is easy to declare, "I can't _____ because...." or "It's too hard to ______ because...." For example, I could say, "It's too hard to enjoy life because I have anxiety. Therefore, I'm not even going to try." Or someone with a history of abuse could declare, "I was abused as a child, so therefore it is okay that (I hate families, I wear immodest clothes, I don't listen to Priesthood counsel)."

#3- We rob ourselves of hope and change.
When we set ourselves as being ONE among our MANY attributes, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to develop every other Christlike attribute we are destined to develop. For example, someone who focuses their existence on being "gay" may become so offended by conservative comments, that they forget that they are also kind, understanding, and capable of inspiring others. They may cease to remember that there are many other characteristics that they are yet to develop.

Elder Oaks encouraged those who have same-gender attraction to: "Strive to expand your horizons beyond simply gender orientation. Find fulfillment in the many other facets of your character and your personality and your nature that extend beyond that. There’s no denial that one’s gender orientation is certainly a core characteristic of any person, but it’s not the only one."

No one of us is a single characteristic. Our characteristics may make up who we are, but we choose our characteristics. Therefore, we choose who we are. The Savior chose who He was, and there is NO single attribute that we could ever use to define Him (in my opinion).

Elder Oaks again: "We have the agency to choose which characteristics will define us; those choices are not thrust upon us.The ultimate defining fact for all of us is that we are children of Heavenly Parents, born on this earth for a purpose, and born with a divine destiny. Whenever any of those other notions, whatever they may be, gets in the way of that ultimate defining fact, then it is destructive and it leads us down the wrong path."

Now, let's see how this change perspective changes our lives. I pray it will bring me closer to Christ as I see myself and others more like He does.

Figuring it out...

Since watching our church's semi-annual General Conference on Sunday, I've been playing a game with myself. The name: FAITH OR FEAR. The aim: deciding whether the things I think, say, or do are done out of faith or fear. The results: surprising and humbling.

You see, I have always known that I am not perfect. Yet, I always thought that my imperfections were MY fault and therefore basically impossible to overcome. BUT when I started thinking about my faults as being "Maren acting out of fear" rather than "Maren acting out of fault", my mistakes almost became silly. Seriously!! Continue reading...

Today (and almost every day), I was walking to my clinical placement and trying not to think about the bajillion things I could (and probably would) do wrong. I was pretty down on myself before I even gave myself the chance! Then, I played the game!! I thought, "Faith or fear," and I realized IMMEDIATELY that my thoughts were coming from my fears- specifically, fear of failure and fear of "not being enough" (this one comes rather frequently). When I realized I was basing my opinion of myself and my work on my fears, it was easy to tell them to "STOP IT"- like Elder Uchtdorf said.

Fears can swindle our thoughts and actions in lots of ways. Here are some of the biggest fears that daunt me:

- Fear of failure

- Fear of not being enough

- Fear of being misjudged or misunderstood

- Fear of not doing enough

- Fear of letting others down/disappointing them

- Fear of missing opportunities to be/do good

- Fear of my anxiety

Wow. When I list out my fears like that, it's easy to see that lots of what I do is based in FEAR.

NO MORE, I SAY!

You see, recognizing and conquering fear is only HALF of the game. The other half is replacing it with faith. AND THIS IS THE COOLEST PART because this is where inspiration comes! Here's how I do it: I think, "What would be the faithful thing to do?" I ponder, pray for a moment, and then (most important of all), I DO IT!

Sometimes the thing I need to do is simple- just telling my brain to shut up. Other times, it is more complex- like remembering that I am a daughter of God and how I really should value my worth based on His loving standards.

I love this game. It is my favorite. I want to invite all of you to play with me :) And don't forget to thank God for the help He sends.

The good things...

SOOO short, but a few things that have really made me happy lately. Feel free to add to the list :)

Snuggling in the mornings with my husband and NOT feeling guilty for falling back asleep.
Sleeping with the windows open and the cool breeze blowing in.
Bella's sleepy eyes when we turn on the lights after she's been home alone and asleep for a while.
Clean dishes in the rack (even when there are more dirty ones in the sink).
Learning the notes to sing a new song.
Being able to hold my pee when I need to.
Sharing "Mormon Moments" on Facebook because they help me remember what's important.
Grandma's laugh and Grandpa's crooked smile.
Jake's help putting photos in our picture collage frames.
Decorating for Easter with all of the things Meagan made while she and Dustin were waiting for their own house... and remembering how much they've been blessed in the last year.
Praying for each and every one of our family members with Jake (not necessarily all at the same time :>).
Learning (especially with Jake).
Working (especially alongside Jake).
Having serious conversations with Mikayla (my two-year-old niece) about important matters such as which bubble bath should be used. Watching her look of surprise and utter enthrallment when she discovers that blowing bubbles off of her hand sends them flying in the air. Watching her determination to "be good" even when she is tired. It makes me trust that the coming generations really are the best and that good parents are the greatest gift this world can receive.
Kisses on my forehead from my loving husband.
Watching Jake sacrifice for me and learning how to sacrifice (even in small ways by comparison) for him.

Oh, I have to mention my sparkly shoes. I love them too. Thanks Grandpa and Grandma for letting me splurge to get them (even though you don't know it was you that paid for them yet!).

Crazy Baydgee

Just wanted to tell everyone about my little pal, Bella (pronounced Bay-juh). We spend lots of time together. When Dad (Jake) isn't awake in the mornings, she gets to lick the milk out of my cereal bowl. Then, sometimes Jake uses the same bowl for his breakfast. HA! When he is gone at night to basketball, she gets to snuggle on the bed with me, I feed her leftovers from dinner, and we watch chick flicks. We're pals. Sure love my girl!

The Family

Every once in a while, a passage from the scriptures or a modern day prophet's words resonates in my mind for weeks at a time. When I was dating Jake, that passage was from the New Testament and helped me to know it was him I should marry to become what God planned for me. Lately, this has been the thought that replays over and over in my mind:

"The family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." - The Family: A Proclamation to the World

It's so simple, yet the world has almost forgotten this pure truth. It's my new "brazen serpent".

Here we go again!

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about.... well, just about everything. Hence, you will likely see a lot of this "....." sort of marking in my writing.

All of this thinking has led me to several conclusions:

1. I am my father's daughter. I keep myself occupied by sorting out my thoughts even when I don't to be sorting them. Is this odd?

2. I am NOT my sister. She has a cute daughter and a house to decorate. She also has a knack for entertaining blogging. How could I ever expect to keep up with her on this blog when I lack a child, a real house, and blogging creativity? Not gonna happen.

3. I will be blogging, and my entries will likely be interesting to me and me alone. Somehow, I am going to pretend that that is okay :)

So... welcome to my attempt at blogging!